watching....always watching....

I have always prided myself on being a "do as I do" kind of parent. I don't expect less of my children than I am willing to give. I am careful about the words I say because I want them to be careful about the words they say. I value integrity and honesty because I want them to do the same. All parents teach their children, what I didn't realize until recently was how much I was teaching them when I wasn't even looking.

I have taught them through my actions that music should be sung with gusto and joy, that barefooted is beautiful, that falling is funny (and even funnier when it happens to someone else), that books can be consumed instead of just read.

I've also taught them that watching television is a totally acceptable way to spend an evening, that cookies are delicious, that sweating is bad, that sweet tea is it's own food group.

I started going to the gym almost 2 months ago and in the beginning was going in the evenings. I would come home spent and sweating and go about the rest of my night. The children came to realize that I was going to the gym through my vacillating excitement and dread. Three weeks ago I shifted my day and started going to the gym in the mornings before they are awake. They no longer hear about my gym time on a regular basis because they typically sleep right through it. I sort of assumed it was not even a blip on their radar. Don't get me wrong I still talk about it but now with a sense of accomplishment. It's officially turned from a 'got to' to a 'get to' and I look forward to the time it builds into my morning for other things as well.


I struggle with teaching my children healthy habits because, well because I didn't have very many. How do you give what you don't possess? How could I extol the virtues of vegetables while noshing on potato chips? I worry. Worry that talking about nutrition or exercise or healthy habits will somehow be internalized and begin a dialogue about not being good enough. I've not started the dialogue, not in earnest. Not with purpose but in passing and only if they brought it up first.

So, all of that brings me to yesterday afternoon. The girlchild was schooling and I had hopped on the elliptical to try to meet my goal for 10k steps/day. She stood at the edge of my bed looking me up and down. She asked me if I went to the gym already and when I told her I had but was just doing a little extra she asked if she could do a "little extra" too. I was totally conflicted. could she? should she? would she be able to? I attempted to quell my panache for over thinking and after I was finished she took a turn.

She talked the entire time she was working out. with pride. about me. how I was strong. was healthy. was good at working out.
Funny. Loud. Friendly.
Those are words that are typically used to describe me but healthy? Strong? Good at working out? Those had never been on a list of descriptions about who I was. And yet here they were from the mouth of my girl.
She got off the elliptical not emotionally scarred like I'd feared but empowered and looking forward to her work out tomorrow because she wants to be like me.
Funny, loud, friendly, strong, healthy, and good at working out.