Bed time routine

Our bedtime routine used to include me singing each child 2 songs someplace after brushing teeth but before saying prayers. Joshypot got wise and would ask me to sing "the song that never ends" which, as it turns out, actually does end after about 3 go rounds.  Mostly though they would ask me to sing Gramma O'Day songs.  I would sing a song of six pence, or share my favorite things, talk about a cherry that has no stone.  Hosts of other songs would come and go but they would always have at least one "gramma song" in the mix.  I stopped the practice several months ago...perhaps even a year.  In an attempt to streamline bedtime the singing got cut.  My mom always gave me grief about it, blah blah blah they are only little once, blah blah blah you will regret this when they are older. As she would crawl into bed with them on every visit and sing for far more than the 2 songs I used to allot.  I felt like I was off the hook because it had turned into a special thing for them.  Now that the blah blah blah has subsided in my head I can hear what she said even louder.  They are only little once, I do regret the time I spent not singing to them.  I started singing a few nights ago.  Only one song.  I can't do more.  Right now it makes my heart ache as I sing and hear echoes of her voice in mine.  My voice catches when I try to sing more than one song.  Scratching his back, stroking her hair.  Making sure the Gramma sticks.  It's only been 2 months and yet it feels like I can already not hear her voice in an instant.