A year of Faithfulness

I turned 40 yesterday.  That sounds a lot more grown than I feel.  It sounds like maturity and adulthood tinged with a bit of sage advice giving ability.  It feels a whole lot like 39, which felt like 29.  I sat in church yesterday and feel like God gave me the word "Faithfulness" because I have turned from being faithful. Not in my faith but it my actions.  I am lax at reading & studying my bible, have laid my health to the side, neglected cultivating relationships beyond those easily navigated through social media.  Then I listened to a message that was about getting distracted by the nothing that fills our lives.  So much information that we get distracted by the white noise.  I thought about creating a new blog to chart my progress and then realized it was because I wanted the anonymity of a new place, which would sort of defeat the purpose of being accountable.  I don't think Faithfulness will be as easy and beautiful as it sounds.  I know it will be a struggle.  It's going to be a long year.  A year of navigating the emotions that come from being faithful.  That my friends is where the rub is.  Committing to denying the numb and welcoming the emotions that I've also not been faithful to acknowledge.  Ohhhh my stars what was I thinking?! Oh wait, I mean here we go bumpy road I'm coming for you and looking forward to seeing where I am in a year!