Finding a yes.

I recently met a woman who probably doesn't even realize the power of her sweet spirit. She is the mother of boys. Multiple boys. She survived. Her boys did as well. On an incredibly rough day I find much comfort in those 2 simple facts. One of the pieces of wisdom she imparted was after hearing my concerns about Joshua hearing "no, stop, quit, don't" so often during the day. She had a boy with that 'problem' and said that she made a "list of yes". When she would find herself giving him repeated 'no''s in a day she would tell him to go and find a yes. Together they had created a list of things that were always "yes" and posted it on their fridge. We are in the process of compiling our list of yes.
We have had a very busy full week and it's only Wednesday. We've been up at 730 (unheard of in casa de schill) and on the road by 800. Our mornings are stuffed full of fun til noon then we come home hungry, hot, and worn out. Joshua is a creature of habit and this week has thrown him for a loop. Today was very trying as he was contrary at every corner. I corrected him repeatedly, kept my temper and remained as soothing and calm as I could. Despite my efforts, he was still contrary and I was still as frustrated as he was. Then I remembered to find him a yes. So at 4pm when I started to make dinner we found his yes. I wanted to hurry and get it done instead I invited him into the kitchen. He came and helped me make dinner. He mixed. He measured. He stirred. He read directions. He beamed. He calmed. He reset his contrary. He has not had a meltdown in the past 2 hours. He was soothed as his little self was stuffed with "yes" and "good job" and "you are doing great!". I am so thankful for the wisdom of Moms who have btdt. I am glad that I didn't keep swimming upstream and instead changed the current simply by finding my sweet boy a yes.